emancipating | inbox / synflux.

[ the only person who regularly does malkuth's hair for her anymore, and this is conscious choice, is march, so it's... a little odd, for someone else to take such practiced care with it. not bad, though, and her eyes close in ease. it's relaxing.

it's also odd, still, to hear "nyx" in any other context of the world-ending disaster ryoji had spoken of himself, which is a whole other can of painful worms she's slowly dealing with. but she sets it aside for now, more relieved that it's a situation of "she left" instead of "she died". ]

So now you've got two mothers instead of just one, thinking of it one way. Why didn't your father just tell her what the Fates did?

[ it's something he doesn't really have to think about. malkuth's hair is long and soft, and it's just as relaxing for him as it is for her. it's a bit of a privilege, he thinks, for her to trust him with this, but he gets the feeling that perhaps this is just how she is. giving trust and affection freely; having the strength to care for someone with her whole self. ]

That's a good way to think of it. [ amusement enters his voice as he works on the last third of her braid. ] And that's what I'm trying to figure out. Well, at least until I was brought here. My father isn't the best at processing his emotions... I'm sure it hurt him deeply when Mother left. I think perhaps he felt it was best to simply let her go, rather than to seek her out only to remind her of a place he thought she'd wanted to leave behind.

[ if only he knew. in some ways yes, in others no; it isn't important right now anyway, his deft hands are. taking note ✔ ]

... I get it. It's kind of scary, not knowing the sort of face someone you love might make seeing you again. If they want to face you at all.

[ because sometimes, they just don't. and you live with that all your life. it infects everything you do, everything you think about, it haunts and twists around your reasons until they're stained with hurt and regret.

anyway, ]

I don't really remember my parents anymore, but I don't think they'd remember me either -- I'm not even sure they thought a lot about me after I left home. It wasn't a great parting.

Yes. I had the same feeling, when I decided to find Mother. I didn't know how she would react, or if she would send me away, but my need to discover the truth outweighed everything.

[ he supposes it makes him selfish; stubborn to a fault. always making decisions for others regardless of the consequences. he's been lucky that he's never had to suffer those repercussions just yet, but there will be a time when what he feels is right doesn't align with what is right. he'll cross that bridge when he gets to it.

he's quiet for a moment, securing the end of her braid with the hair tie before coming around to her side. he doesn't know what her parents are like or the circumstances of their parting, but— ]

I understand. [ his expression softens, a small, solemn smile on his face. ] That can't have been easy to carry with you.

Well, it get easier. I've been away for over a decade now. It just sort of... comes up, every now and then.

[ she gives her head a shake, grinning wider. nice and secure... malkuth'll get knives and a pair of cutting boards as she talks. ]

Thanks for the hand. Strawberries, milk, bananas, and... a peach. We'll make a couple of smoothies to kill the heat with. Was your mom happy to see you? If you managed to find her, I mean.

[ his understanding of time is likely different from hers, given what he is. but in the perspective of a mortal, whose life and time are so fleeting, he can imagine what a decade feels like. even if it may get easier to carry, it doesn't lessen the weight. he doesn't comment on it further, however, though the smile still remains. ]

Of course. Should they be cut into smaller pieces, then?

[ he has no idea what smoothies are, but he is Ready with his knife, okay, please tell him what to do. ]

I did manage to find her after some time. At first she tried to kick me out, which is understandable, given that she thought I was dead. But after we talked for a while... I'd say she was happy, I think. She was probably overwhelmed, more than anything.

Cubes about the size of your thumb.

[ the first knuckle anyway, wiggling hers for demonstration. ]

I think I would be too, if someone I thought was dead suddenly turned up at my doorstep. I'm really glad you found her though! Stories like that should have a happy ending, even if they aren't as common as I'd like. At least where I'm from.

[ bittersweet is as best they get, sometimes. most of the time. it's nice that in comparison, so many of her friends get exactly what they're hoping for... genuinely, because malkuth isn't a jealous person by nature. ]

I see. All right.

[ it's a little awkward at first, mainly because he's someone who has never had to work in a kitchen his entire life and it shows. but he does his best, which means the cubes are kind of uneven and maybe a little lopsided, but serviceable. he hopes. ]

Thank you. I'm glad I found her, too. It was... cathartic, in some ways, to be able to speak to her in person. There's still much work to be done, but, well. [ he thinks of her code name. one step forward. sometimes one step is better than nothing at all. sometimes it's all you need. ] I'm getting there.

[ little does he know that much, much later, all of that work would be undone. fate works in mysterious ways. but he'll cross that bridge when he gets to it. bittersweet is as best they get. ]

inbox / synflux.

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cries don't look at the timestamp

puts a hand over it

thank